Diarrhea prevents cancer! Bless ye, all who have had salmonella & e. coli! Bless ye, all that have had too many cocktails the night before! And bless ye, those that make merciless fun of diarrhea! Anyway, Americans are the leaders in the colon cancer front because people on this side of the pond (on either side of the pond, or top & bottom, whatever) don't eat enough fiber; or they eat too much horseshit fast-food that makes them very, very irregular. Ahhh the joys of having international friends, who know so much about international bowels.
Ok, so I misspelled a therapist's name on her badge. Big deal, right? So what if I might have said in my head when she gave it back to me, "maybe you should have invited me to your wedding, biatch!" I mean, seriously - she invited everyone else in the office. I should be so nice to even communicate with her. That's just rude. It's not like I was going to go, but still. Still!
Schmeedy, who still will not update his friggin' website, has gotten me something in a mos-tuh pe-coo-ye-lar waay for our real 1-yr. anniversary. I wonder what it is. The present I got for him is going to infuriate and please him very much - all at the same time - in one gargantuan sort of way.
We're moving! We're moving! Soon, soon, my children - no more bad fridge, no more sinking ship (also known as the bathtub), no more parties in front of my window - NO MORE OF PEOPLE KNOWING WHERE I LIVE WHEN I REALLY DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW... WHERE I LIVE. No more stolen CD's and white-trash BBQ's! No more beatbox next door (God, they are really horrible at it too)! It will be an all-inclusive, no-stairs, wonderland! Yippeee!
Oh, and in case you were wondering... there's more fast out there. And B-4, B. Lo, or Bennifer, was actually amusing on Jay Leno last night. He made fun of himself in a right, frangipani sort of way. AND... the subject of this entry is a direct reference to an episode of "Saved by the Bell" - holla if ya hear me!!!