So I'm at my parental unit's house in Cochiti Lake, and having a gradiose time waiting for clothes to dry, waiting to exhale, and also, waiting for Godot. We're having beef and broccoli stir fry for dinner. My parents are big on sir fry.
So what's the newest slogan, you ask? I'll tell you the newest slogan! It's that Nike ad for running - the "there's more fast out there" (which is grammatically incorrect, but we're all trying to deal with it... the editors, the lovers, the dreamers, and me). Anyway, so I keep saying to myself, "Self, there's more fast out there. You need to get the hogwash and panty-wearin' foolhardies outta your brain and get this show on the road. You cannot dillydally any longer. No mo' gettin' high & drinkin' fo'ties. THERE'S MORE FAST OUT THERE. There's smarter, more creative, prettier, curvier, greater, more perserverant, better funded, wittier, funnier, more ingenious, better at trivia, more serious, more driven, more charismatic, more charming, more guile, more gimble, more... FAST OUT THERE." I'll race your mother, your brother, your auntie, you dog. I'll race Lance Armstrong on his bike, 100 meters, 200 meters. And I'll beat 'em!
See!!!! Things don't just fall into your lap - and I ain't no goddamn quitter. This is not your momma's John Mayer "I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for" song. This is a big fatty-boom-batty Nike ad. Er - no, this is my life. And your's, people!!! Enough is enough!
Anyway, speaking of "enough" - enough of my tirade. Just thought y'all should all know. There's more fast out there (and it should be "there's faster out there"). So it smells like L'oreal Exuberance in this guest room of my parents' house. Who here remembers L'Oreal Exuberance? It was the hair-coloring foam named things like "sunflower" and "fizzy peach." Damn, that shite smelled fantastic. But as for a room smell (and L'Oreal hasn't made Exuberance since, I'm guessing, around 1995), it is really wiggin me out.
Hey - uh.... I don't know if you heard, or anything - I mean, maybe you did before, maybe you didn't... I don't mean to alarm you or nothin, but uh.... there's more fast out there. I gotta get to work.