WHY OH WHY OH WHY is it still considered a "fairy tale come true." Why do people think in their heads that they're nobody 'til somebody loves them? Why oh why do people have weddings the way they do? I swear to God, the "hop a plane and head to some remote beach where a shaman in a toga is going to marry you at sunset with a pig and a goat as witnesses" sounds better & better every minute when I think of the impenetrable hell of a wedding (no offense, Eliza, your wedding isn't a suburban cliche piece of shit - it's going to rule!). When I think of my parents, crying, and all these people who get angry if "they aren't full" by the time they leave - fuck that shit, mayne. I don't owe anybody anything, especially not being dressed up like a cupcake, spending huge assloads of money on something that is "taken down" by the end of the day, buying into some stereotypical feces pile that is done for everybody else, not for me. I call bullshit, mi amigos - I CALL BULLSHIT.
That is all. I just wanted to impress the fact that I, being of sound, mind, and body, do hereby renounce the traditional wedding & other traditional hoohaa. My fairy tale come true is more like, riding wild ponies in Ireland, or trees that grow immense amounts of Nerds, a 50ft closet full of whimsical shoes (with an adjacent 100ft closet full of constantly rotating clothes) - endless supply of Taco Sal, or having a couch four times the regular size so you feel like Alice in Wonderland when you sit on it. Living in Paris. Taking a mud bath. And Nerds. Wait - I already mentioned Nerds....