You see, at work, we keep getting tons of resumes for work at home positions for an administrative professional. I can't believe people think you can actually work at home, out of the blue, processing forms & receiving faxes, etc. It's so stupid. IT IS SO INCREDIBLY STUPID. People totally think you can get some easy-ass work at home job. Stupid.
Anyway, we didn't advertise for this position, so we've been throwing out the resumes (since we have no legal obligation here), but one letter stuck out as particularly retarded. Here's an excerpt:
"Hello my name is Kxxxx Gxxxxxxx I am 50 years old the mother of one currently reside in Rhode Island. I love animals, I have a dog, cat, and many wild animals I over feed. I love gardening in my spare time to relax. I am self taught quick learner, have very flexible hours, am very dependable, love the challenge to meet deadlines and available immediately. I love to read, stimulate the mind, use the computer, and talk on the phone. I am very a very personable person that wants to be part of an organization that offers growth potential, stability, and educational opportunities, anything new is educational. I enjoy working with a team, whether alone or together, to meet management goals. I would be an asset to your company if given the chance."
Ok, so - obviously anything new would be educational - let's start with punctuation. Obviously not a self-starting task this moron has mastered, what with being a part of a team, either alone or together, and who knows what else.
Argh! This country is riddled with idiots! Riddled! They can't spell, write, speak, or pick their noses correctly! Y Kant Amerika Read? Jesus Christ. And on top of all that, this woman is applying FOR A JOB and telling us about how she OVERFEEDS HER ANIMALS, both her dog, cat, and wild animals that meander by, delighting various Rhode Island 50 yr. olds with their child of one. It's also good to know that she holds the title of "self taught quick learner" - a phrase I frequently use to indicate one complete thought.
Besides being hideously disappointed in random fools that send their shit in, some therapists just brought in their new baby & everyone is fawning over it. Damn this day! Damn baby-fawners! And damn the Three Gorges Dam!