Connie shares her last name with Crazy Toe Tappy Man. Connie can drink me under the table, which is no big deal, but she can drink YOU under the table, too. Connie, this song is on now. Connie will be your best friend even though when you first moved in across the street you hid from her. Connie is craftier than I will ever be. Connie loves the dos hermanos. Connie is my partner in crime. Connie will put up with you even when you retreat to your apartment and hide. Connie once found a rabbit turd from the Reagan administration. Connie, it�s a ghost! Connie knows what it�s like to have a hag for a landlady.
Connie put up with my slovenly ways far longer than she had to. Connie knows when to cut your alcohol off. Connie will give you the last of her money to pay tax on the cheap alcohol you�re bringing back from Mexico. Connie knows when a cat needs tough love. Connie knows the intrinsic gloriousness of hearing Happy Trails over the loudspeakers when the music store is closing. Connie will understand the problem with Wednesdays when you�re a freshman in college. Connie will get her eyebrow pierced when you get a tattoo. Connie will argue with you about how far away Colorado is, and she will be game when you decide to find out in a hands on manner.
Here�s a funny Connie story. Once, in high school, Connie and I decided to donate blood, and we picked first hour to do it, since we both hated the classes we were taking. We knew we could get away with skipping first hour, so we went and bought burritos from Nipa Hut, which are bigger than your head and better than anything your mama could make. We ate them at Triangle Park, which is probably the saddest excuse for a park you�ll ever see. We snarfed our burritos, then went to school in preparation for the blood drawing, sans leeches. I promptly freaked out too bad, and I went to wait for Connie. I figured I had half an hour before I had to be back. But no! What appears on the horizon but Connie, mad as hell and without the pallor that accompanies blood donation. She had been denied, too, and we both were able to laugh about it later, when we realized we�d still missed our class. Rebels!
Connie is my best friend, and I miss her very much.
Eliza, I have one thing to say to you - YOU SAID THAT IT WAS A HERD OF DOG-SIZED ANTS VS. A HERD OF GODZILLA-SIZED ANTS. What else was I to choose?