Well, as much as I hate to start wearing the bottom-of-the-drawer-thong, I must admit that when laundry time comes, I get awfully creative with my clothing. Today, for instance, I am wearing an abomination of a skirt that was formerly known to the Nixon era as curtains, I am sure. And not no stinking tweed or wool curtains neither. We are talking full-on silky drawers, y'all! And yes, it is official y'all day - in case you were curious. Y'all ya'lll y'all yal'l. Yeeeeee-hhhaaaawwwwww!!! This is out of date!
Since I was so rudely interrupted with the robbing-us-blind (See Joe's entry for the full-on hexing of whoever did so), I forgot to write an homage to Eliza, my dear Eliza who has left:
*THINGS I WILL MISS THE MOST ABOUT ELIZA*
1. Who the hell am I going to email fanatically everyday about sex, booze, and other relationship quandries? Is quandries a word? You know who would know? Eliza.
2. The phone calls in the middle of Law & Order commercials - either to fill me in on what I missed, or so we can shoot the shit about what has happened. I never liked L&O until Eliza. (Although she did not adequately convert me to a Golden Girls fan what with the spreading of the thighs by Betty White and all. I just couldn't get into it - the show, that is, not Betty White's thighs).
3. Tucano's.... oh what a magnificent feast, oh what a treat, ohhhh how my stomach hurt like a bare-backed beast!
4. The sing-song times - when we would make up such fantastic songs, like she & Lindsay with "Colonomy Bag" which should have been "Colostomy Bag" but it didn't have the right... flow. Huh huh. I digress on this point.
5. Nap time. The first semester we came home from school for Christmas, I would go down to Eliza's house, and for some reason she had 2 full-sized beds in her room, thus necessitating a nap. I would crawl into the extra bed - sometimes with the winter coat on and all, and Eliza would pass out in her bed. Man, that's weird now that I think about it. Why were we so tired? We didn't have jobs - and we sure didn't have school stress, we were freshman for christ's sake... And I would leave my house, three whole houses down, and go to her house just to take a nap? And then I think I would go to bed at a reasonable hour. Huh. Oh well - the Christmas after that, it was time to down a liter of Absolut Citron, which is no better than taking extraneous naps... Anyway, I think her mom thought we were ridiculous. Or retarded. Or both. We were spelling bee kids in our youth, you see.
6. Nachos! Naaachos! I mean, Liiiz, Liiiizzzzzz! ("Nachos" actually inspires all sorts of good anecdotes from high school - like cheese on the pants, or the Nacho lady was a Nazi - not unlike the Soup Nazi which reminds me of Shalina, and for some reason when I think of the word "nachos," I think of this girl Jody Chamberlain, which inspires all sorts of new stories on top of that... Enough!)
7. "Wild laughter! Wild laughter!" (Said in a Gilbert Gottfried voice while simulataneously opening and shutting roommate's door while pissy-roommate is on phone - pffff)
Actually, when I think about it, Eliza and I do have some freaky-deaky stories. I wonder if it's the two masterminds coming together which results in a complete lack of rationality. But if you hang out of Mandy Madewell's sunroof long enough at the ripe ol' age of sixteen, you're bound to not come out right in the head. And Mandy wasn't even made well - she was made like a 2-bit hooker.
Anyway, dear Eliza, you will be missed, but you will also be visited. Late at night. With ring-pops and orange cookies (Ahhhh!). If you're lucky, you'll find a Clover Park in Chicago, and no other weirdos in which to delight in, for ye can only delight in me! Weee! Arbitrary friendships are the best! Bonne chance, mon amie. Here's to over 10 years!