Things that are bothering me because I woke up on the wrong side of the hardly-slept-in bed:
1. This stupid ring I'm wearing. It keeps slipping all over the place. It was my aunt's, and it has one of those poison-locket flapper thingy-ma-bobbers, so I thought I'd look like I led a life of mystery and intrigue. Ha! It's gold with wildflowers on it. How mysterious & intriguing is that? I look like I have grandma-hand waiting to show off her grandchildren's Sears portraits because her neck is too withered and raisin-like to wear a real locket on. And I'd recently given up rings - they piss me off altogether - getting caught on pockets, slip-sliding around on the finger and hitting knuckles - they are a nuisance! But if anyone wants to buy me a ruby ring, you go right ahead!
2. I was walking to work today and passed a PT Cruiser that didn't have racing stripes or something normal down the side... instead, it had a french horn graphic with a swirly line in purple. At the trunk was the kicker, though. It was Kokopelli, in a "southwestern" pattern (i.e. it was purple and turquoise and some god-awful white man colors thrown together to make us think of pueblos and Santa Fe), playing a french horn. No flute for Kokopelli here, ladies & gents! This Kokopelli has been righted of all his wrongs! He is playing... the magnificent FRENCH HORN! WOOOOOO!
There was this stupid snatch who played the french horn when I was a sophomore in high school. She's in line to marry her chubster acne-ridden boyfriend of the same time period. Maybe she plays the french horn late at night in order to seduce him with its whale-like moaning. Maybe she has her own whale-like moaning. Ew.
3. Joey Joe Junior Shabadoo - I did something terrible this morning. My usual breakfast is peanut butter toast and tea, but today it was peanut butter toast, coffee, and.... a polish taquito. I added the polish of my own sober volition, and I'm ashamed. I am. I'm even more ashamed that it was goooooooooood. I knew I wasn't crazy for dipping that sheezy into mustard in a drunken stupor. I know my limits.
4. I am so sick of thinking about money and bills that I might sell my kidney. In order to pay my automo-bills and other Destiny's Child-like bill-rhyming words.
5. Apparently, I decided that a small little bump along my jawline was worth picking at - and not just picking, but also scraping, squeezing, loving, hating, procreating, swash-buckling and trying to (hopelessly and in vain) abolish. Now I have a huge painful welt - a wound, if you will. There was nothing there. And now it looks like I have a cyst. Dammit.
And now... the things I am not so pissed off about:
1. Is milk the new coffee? I was thinking of the big i just a second ago and how I know how he takes his milk. If I were to buy him milk, it would be the 2%. I have no idea how he takes his coffee - he probably doesn't take it at all. He'll probably just take a Dr. Pepper. So... twenty years ago, people new how their smarmy-marmies took the ol' coffee, and I only know how he takes his milk. And no coffee. Hmmm.... I'm perplexed.
2. Ludie comes back from Sweden soon! And there will be bean feasts for the 27th birthday! And everybody loves a bean feast! If you don't know what a bean feast is, you must be out of the cool kids' loop! Please go listen to Veruca Salt's sing-song!
3. (Eliza, I would like to say here that I'm pleased that we're gonna party like it's 1999 before you move, but I'm not altogether ecstatic about you moving - happy for you, yes, but not happy for me. No more Eliza to bother about during commercial breaks - we'll be in different time zones & I'll always be napping while you're awake.) Yay! At least Eliza is happy! And freaking out about leases & the whosawhatsit! And she and Mandy-pandy (wouldn't it be funny if we started calling him Andy?) have mended their fraying hem! Weeeee!
I feel it is necessary to condemn this warm weather (it's January for christ's sake) but maybe snow-days will come when they are needed - like when classes are up & running, and as always, condemn those of us who like wearing pink panties. So, so tired.