1. Upon the new year, let's hope that Gilbert goddamn O'Sullivan's funky-buttlovin song "Alone Again, Naturally" is not still stuck in my head. If it is still stuck in my head, I will personally cut out the part of the brain responsible for this task and ship it to Madeleine Allbright. For no reason.
2. Upon the new year, I will make a splendid, splendid! resolution - I haven't narrowed it down yet, but things such as Crashing-weddings-for-free-food and Dressing-as-Snoop's-protegee are in the running.
3. Upon the new year, I will be taking a whopping 3 classes, and in this vein, I will not - and I repeat NOT - do the homework and the papers and the finals and the midterms in the fashion that I have so followed with my classes for the past 4 1/2 yrs. This is most likely the one that will be forgotten first and bemoaned over later.
4. Someone is shooting a shotgun outside and it is freaking me out.
5. Uh... where was I? Oh - yes... Upon the new year, not unlike Conan's damn "In the year 2000", I will learn to chew my food and drink (if I so choose to chew my drink) in an orderly manner that does not suppose that a fatal error will take place & I will blast my incisor through my gum, as I have done quite methodically for the past 2 weeks. (For some reason, I am reminded of how Nazis are always described as "efficient" - "They were very efficient, those Nazis." Like, it's ok to praise them in this manner, and still highlight the fact that the murdering was insane-o and out of control. I guess this popped into my head when I was thinking about how effieciently I've managed to bite my lip everyday for the past 2 wks.)
and, finally, and with no lack of - yada yada yada blah blah -
6. Upon the new year, I will get loan money. And thank sweet baby Jesus layin in the manger, because loan money means all sorts of things I shouldn't be spending it on - like, flat pointy shoes and the splurge for BubbleYum instead of Scotch Tape. It is this one that I relish in the most - it is this one that I wait 6 months for every year. Unfortunately, this will be my last student loan, and after that, well.... who knows. But we all know I'll look damn good when I'm 40 and wearing the latest style from 2003, the last year I could afford to buy myself sumpin purdy.
And after all that, I must say I've had approximately 4 hours of sleep and I'm just now beginning the finals that are due in 3 hours.
Oh, and also - if you receive emails that include some phrase about friends are angels that lift you to your feet and fly you above the clouds or something, do as I did: delete it, scoff at the friend that sent it to you, and then think real hard about why you're friends. And then realize that you drink together, so just let it slide.... let it slide.
Procrastination Station is leaving the terminal....