In the year 2525...

Well, fire me and call me Lazy Susan, because I have got some manifesto-like qualities to disperse among the masses.... first things first - The four day week plan is in full effect, for this reason, simply: On friday, one must realize the unimportance of all duties. It's like the mail - if you mail something on Saturday, you know it's not goin anywhere until Monday. Well, take this and cross-apply it to working on Fridays. All these orders do not need to be entered today. And for the following reasons:

1. They will not even be looked at by folklore & chrimsy until Monday, thus...

2. They will not be received until Monday - or possibly Tuesday.

3. They will arrive on the floor on Wednesday, and...

4. They will not be sucessfully stocked until Finals are over, maybe around the 23rd or something, which is too late, since...

5. It's Christmas Break & we all know that colleges & universities & schools in general have notorious breaks, which means....

6. I shouldn't even enter these orders until January 17th.

And also, I will have nothing to do next week, so I might as well drag out the workload and make sure I perfect such mind-boggling games like free cell and solitaire, although I would much rather bubble puzzle.

It is also important to note at this juncture, that although one thinks that one deserves a hefty amount of alcohol, one should never blow money one does not have extracted out of impending checks yet & one should never, ever resort to vodka on the rocks after 4 cosmos. One should also note that fries taste damn damn damn good after vodka on the rocks, so one might be so inclined to not scarf one's fries down until AFTER one's drinks. But when does one's drinking finally subside anyway? One might think that one's drinking subsides when one's friends drag the said one outside to sober up in the cold clammy wintery air, but one would be mistaken. One's drinking subsides when one gives all one's beer out & dances like a fool to Marvin Gaye, all while one is donning the shirts that one had previously thought one would never been caught dead in.

One might also want to invest in hardcore caffeine for the day after these sorts of events. (Also, one might want to not be quite so slutty slutty hammered, although one is in an exclusive relationship. One might want to rethink one's naughty talk because one will feel regret & embarrassment the next day).

2002-12-06 | 2:10 p.m.

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