I do NOT like it when people who are intrinsically moody and surly decide that they will, today & for one day only, become the most helpful person on the planet. Let me give you an example that is in no way based on reality:
There is a boyman that I work with who is intrinsically moody and surly. He is also in piss-poor condition, and that ain't no lie. So, the other day, he blows into this dungeon of mine, gives me a big hug & murmurs, "Oh yeah" (whole 'nother topic completely) and is like, "Where do you want me to put these displays?" Me: "Anywhere - you can put them against the wall there." He: "Is this where you would like the displays to go from now on?" Me: "It doesn't matter. I will find them. The room is not very big." He: "Great. I'll go tell the other guys that they should put the displays here from now on." Me: "No, no, that's not necessary. It doesn't matter where they go - anywhere is fine." He: "It's cool, I'll go tell them." And off he jaunts. He jaunts jaunts jaunts away and tells all the receiving people that Yes! It is time to put the displays on that wall with the weird janitor shower! (whole 'nother topic completely)But why. WHY. Why does he insist upon being so damn helpful when we all know he's moody & surly & genuinely pissy. He is not a helpful person, he just feels good by pretending to be a helpful person. Luckily, he's being fired and in the end, will be pissy & surly & moody forever, what with the unemployment. Because there is no need for helpfulness in this world, my friends! NO need!
Also, I feel it is imperative to list more things I do not like:
* painful boogers
* boogers that smell bad (that is not fair to put things that smell bad RIGHTTHERE in your nose)
* armpit holes in shirts
* the coffee enema
* The scurry to act like one is working when one is obviously, OBVIOUSLY not working
* my lost tweezers
* the "when it rains, it pours theory" - take for instance the fact that a certain Monsieur took me for pizza last night, and there will be free pizza for drones today at work. I'm sure tonight I will somehow have pizza, and I have had pizza at least 29 times in December alone already (lying here - totally lying). When one doth not hath any money - one doth not find free food. When one doth hath money, one doth geteth the mostest food.
Ahhhhh! We're the mostest! (I also feel it necessary to add the fact that I utilized "More powerful than two Cleopatras" last night in a rational form a la Lauryn Hill, but really - I mean, ok. So it wasn't rational. No rationality there at all, and I was in the spacey-spaceage zone that I can't talk about here and now due to impending fear of the doom from meiner Mutter)