Special Girl, Real Good Girl
The plan for last night was to get (1) tanked (2) get really tanked (3) get really, really tanked and (4) make it home at a reasonable hour. This was all successfully executed.
You see, when one plays hookie (hooky?), one must remember that the next day, one must look like one has been dragged through scarlet fever, rubella, nutella, and guacamole. Downplay the makeup, talk softly, and mos def, carry a big stick. It also helps to carry around cough syrup, DayQuil, or Tylenol Cough. I've actually been drinking it to ensure my dilated pupils look haphazard and wild. This, combined with said-plan (above), will seal your fate as looking like complete sick ass the day after your hookie, and you're home free.
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This plan is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease.
2005-07-15 | 11:10 a.m.
