It's a hot one, ladies!

You see, I was reading and writing coherent things this past week because I haven't been soaking my brain in the booze dip we'd like to casually refer to as "Jameson," but my four day stretch of sobriety was killed in a frenzy last night. Up against borrowed time (and money), I would like to state for the record that just because we do the things we do, does not make us a doer of the things we do. Er. Whatever. Anyway, as per the last entry, I refuse to beat myself up anymore in regards to my boozin', so I won't bore us all with that sort of reprimand today.
What I will bore us with are the following things:

* There is a huge wad of chewed Winterfresh gum stuck on the side of my ballerina flat. While these shoes were starting to go to the birds anyway, I was still terribly disappointed to see a shot of robin's egg blue, sticky and disgusting, framed by beat-up black leather. Sigh.

* I fucking love that idiotic show "What I Like About You." I find Amanda Bynes charming. What. What are you gonna do to me, I mean really. So I like a stupid show - we all have our cross to bear, our monkeys on our backs! I find the humor expressed, alongside the warm lovey-dovies, to be refreshing! So help me, I like the damn show!

* I met a lass last night, and upon meeting her, I exclaimed, "You look great!" because I was so impressed with her cute Alice-in-Wonderlandy dress. She looked surprised and was instantly friendlier than I could have expected. This should be chapter one in "How to make friends and influence people." Who wrote that? I should rewrite that with tricks I've learned in this social trade. One helpful hint might be to drink lots of booze, but not so much that you're an ass. This loosens you up and makes you talk more. Next thing you know, you've got drunk buddies that will quickly turn into real friends, or you've got a new bonkbuddy that will never turn into anything, but who cares because you're actually getting some. It's a beautiful thing, this logic gained from college. Wouldn't give it back for the whole world.

2005-06-11 | 12:03 p.m.

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