Yuk yuk yuk
Self-sabotaging is reaching an all-time high right now, which is both worrysome, tiresome, and bullshitsome. I would like to sever the ties to all self-sabotage, self-destruction, and self-retardedness. I have no brain, no consequence, and absolutely no good reason (!) for all the madness that is exploding through my little body, replicating at a force speedier than light. I realize that we must go through phases, but this, this that I am being completely ambiguous about, this is stupid. It ends now. No more sparing people's feelings while squelching my own and no more thoughtlessness in order to please others. I like to pride myself on how much I've grown and learned, but at the end of the day, after much whiskey has been drank, after the actions of a night have beaten my own self into submission, I have learned nothing nor grown at all. I thought my tragic flaw was hyper-criticism, but maybe it's cynical altruism. It's got to end somewhere and somehow, but I'm not sure how to do so.
2005-03-07 | 8:30 a.m.
