I think it's time to break it down into a list of things I've learned, just today:
1. Give someone a directory and they will lose it. Or they will be too lazy to even lose it. It is still in their mailbox, waiting to be opened, looked at - letting the eyes pour over every inch of its photocopied edges. Or rather, perhaps some have a NWA kinda thing goin' on - Fuck tha directory, man! I don't need that shit!
2. Tell someone the rules and eventually a supervisor will act like you killed a small and cute, bug-eyed fox in front of that little girl in the Cat in the Hat. What is that little girl's name? Devon? Something with a "d"?
3. You order those shoes. You sit, you look at those shoes, you think about giving them to your sister... you order them. You order them for yourself and for the idea of twisting pilgrims into sexpots. So what if they're only NineWest. So what.
4. Suddenly, it becomes insanely clear that reminding and remembering various staff members birthdays & anniversaries makes you into that crazy Hallmark commercial lady - panting in excitement about having a card organizer in which to surprise her tea friends with when she eavesdrops on their conversation. Get a life, Colleen. GET A LIFE.
5. Wash your hands before touching babies. I didn't know that. Also, I think the smell of babies is kind of disgusting, which can't be good. Especially when everyone goes on and on about how wonderful the smell is.
Oh well. Have a good weekend, y'all. Don't forget to catch up on celebrity gossip!