I'm listening to Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" right now, and I must admit that I have no idea why the baby-talk sweety-bad girl thing is supposedly sexy. Madonna covered this song too, and don't get me started on what an intrinsic sellout Madonna is, but now Kirsty Alley is singing it for Pier One. Why is it supposed to be sexy? Why is the coo-coo sexy? Isn't it insulting that the general sexpot-populace assumes that men are all child-pornography-toting, pedophilic idiots that can be taunted by some clean-scrubbed slut-o ma-tutto all dressed up in a perspire-inducing, stained red velvet negligee with white Santy Clause fuzz and a baby voice? I'm pretty sure that not everyone finds Jennifer Tilly attractive! (And besides that - in "Santa Baby" ol' Eartha asks for a duplex and checks. Who the hell wants a duplex?)
Oh thank God, the damn song is over. Now it's "Santa Claus is back in town" by Elvis.
I'm seriously lacking the Christmas spirit (which reminds me - one time I submitted a rotten poem to the National Library of Poetry, and yes, it did get published because everyone gets published - but someone actually wrote a poem about how it's not "Xmas" but "+mas" - citing that "X" was derogatory and that it should be the cross instead. Because we're all sinners, y'all. Damn us straight to hell for using "Xmas." Idiots.)