Get up off of yo' feet...

Let me tell you a little sumpin-sumpin about inter-office politics, and it starts with this: if people find anything, anything at all, that they don't understand or don't know where it came from (i.e. a piece of gum in their pocket, a coupon in their wallet, toilet paper that is not quilted) and they happen to find it at the office, they will ask you what it all means, was there a memo, and perhaps - could you take care of it. That is the life of an office-worker. Always explaining things, even though people can't shut the hell up & accept the fact that yes indeedy, they did actually receive a catalog at their home address but they brought it with them, and I am not throwing it away because they've decided it's junk mail they received here. No siree - that catalog will outlive us all. We are stuck with that mother.

Another thing about working in an office - besides the fact that everyone demands to know what this is! where did it come from! who are you! get rid of this blood stain! (and overall laziness) - they will delegate stupid, stupid things down the line until it falls on the poor head of the administrative assistant, who although does not need extra sheisse to do, will do it willingly because the last administrative assistant starting telling people no & she got fired. Or, you might show sparks of creativity, or you get things done on time, and next thing you know - you're hand-making personal invitations to someone's little girl's birthday party & being toppled over with work that should be the supervisor's job but she's "too busy." Or how about when people call in & they really don't know who the hell they are supposed to talk to, so they insist on information from you - when is Johnny B. Good's IEP? His STE? I'm from security - on line 14 on the BPE form, should we write "smelly and yet pleasing" or should we contact the therapist directly? Can you contact them, because I'm a fat ugly bitch that wants to scratch my poon all afternoon and make you do the work while I try to improve my speech impediment? Is Mary there? Ohhh. She's not in (uncomfortable silence). You're not going to tell me where she is. Ohhh. It's her business. Can I speak to someone else? This is important - I need to know the website for fiddly do, which has nothing to do with work or the people that work there, but I'm demanding to know answers that! I! SHOULD! FIND! MYSELF!

BUT! I'M! LAZY! AND! INCOMPETENT!

I swear to God - if any of you work in an office & are a supervisor, or perhaps you work for an office and you see a lonely little assistant everyday - you better do your own goddamn work.

2003-11-04 | 10:14 a.m.

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