Why can't I find a woman like that?

So Rick Springfield is coming to some casino 'round these parts and if I have to hear "Jesse's girl," "Don't Talk to Strangers," or whatever other bullhonk he sang one more time, I will seriously, seriously crap myself, take off the pants, hook them to a flagpole, and wave my poopy-pants high up in the air. Seriously. And I know I'm going to have to follow through with this - because there is a commercial on day & night for the stupid thing - on TV & on the radio! So this is your first notification - watch for the latest CNN human interest story to say that some New Mexican girl is protesting Bush - but no no. Really, I'm merely protesting Rick Springfield. Although I could cross-apply my poopy-pant protest, I would rather smear feces or do something even more drastic in honor of protesting Bush. Just wait for its debut on national television, after a commercial for Springfield. Or, if you live in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area, please wait for the smell.

For some reason, Scrogg has incorporated me into his site, which I feel both honored & ashamed for my first post. Please read it & weep for me.

Here's a funny conundrum (a word previously used only by knowing-eye kiddies in reproduced Japanese horror films with Jewel/Nicole Kidman lookalikes): the mailman is parked a couple of houses down when I get home for lunch, but there is no mail. The people across the street have mail. I drive down the street, turn the corner, and see A SECOND MAIL TRUCK, PARKED. I work a couple of blocks away (but I'm chronically late, like a teenage whore, so I have to drive to work), and the mail at my office comes at 11AM everyday. What the fuck is going on here people? Why is the mailman deliberately disobeying me? All I want is my mail!

Other annoyances include the fact that our neighbors are supposed to park on the left hand side of the driveway, and we are supposed to park on the right. Why oh why does that infernal bitch woman park on the right side sometimes? Why must she not follow the rules? What is WRONG with people? ARGH!

I have to go to Costco & get another picture put on my business Costco card. I hate Costco, I hate it hate it hate it.

I need a nap.

2003-09-09 | 1:37 p.m.

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