This one will go down in history.
I am having a most peculiar day, as far as slamming my fingers in the copy machine and the fact that it feels like I'm wearing a cloth-like sack around my ass. You see, I've been inflicted with a thong-related injury, and I must must MUST wear grannie panties for a while. What is this thong-related injury, you ask? Well, I cannot say. I just must allude to the fact that I am insanely neat, clean, and obsessed with my crack, and it's taken a turn for the worse. Ok - I'll just be blunt. I keep my crack tidy. And after 8 months of pure, unadulterated, impure insanity, I've rubbed my crack raw & it hurts like a big horse's muchacho to wear the thongs any longer. I think the thongs were aggrevating the situation. They were egging it on, whimpering and crying into the night - "I am a thoooonnnngggg! Whhhyyyy dooooeeesss nnooooooo ooooonnnnneeeee lllloooovvvvveeee meeeeeeeee?" And of course, ol' cracky gotta be like, "I love you! Let's see how much you can stick to my skin & chap me! We can always find some tweezers or something!" So. The lesson learned here is that we must not weareth the thongeth. And if you think I'm whistlin' dixie, ask my crack in approximately 2 days what it feels like to be healthy, healed, and satisfied with existence. Because that's the day I reinstitute the thong.
Joe, Geneva, and I are going to be living in a wickedly stylish little number I like to refer to as the not-thong of houses. Good deal. I'm hoping I can convince the two that we should go three-bers on a countertop dishwasher. I think it would be a smart little investment. Maybe at the end of the term, we can split all sorts of hairs on to who really owns it and what we should do with it.
I stupidly wrote a letter to this hip chick that owns a boutique downtown, asking if I could design something for her. Stupid, stupid Connie! You'll make a fool of yourself yet!
Ok, my middle finger hurts almost as bad as my ass from slamming it, so typing is becoming a problem. More later, cockleshells and pretty maids in a row. More later.
(PS - WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH THE IMAGES ON THE SIDE? Time for a new template already...)
2003-08-26 | 4:01 p.m.
