So we went over and attended a meeting of the Sewing Circle... they all had their shriner caps on, Joey Joe & I came in on little cars (bwa). I was looking magnificently fabulous in order to incite riots - Joe was ... well, I don't remember what the hell Joe was wearing, I am too self-absorbed. The highlight would be either the Deutschmann - that guy was wicked - or perhaps an undisclosed acquaintance (ahhh, lest they be forgot! arrrr!) saying after I left the room, "Man, that girl is weird! What the hell has she been drinking?" I think the latter was much more effective as a crowd-pleaser, although the German dude was nice and I got to practice saying stupid phrases to him - "Gibt mich eine trink" (Give me a drink) and the ever-popular "Du bist sehr nett" (You are very nice). I did settle the pronounciation of "ich" - was it ick? was it isshh? It's isshh! Yay! But some chick named Erin (my middle name! we bonded over that, I'm sure!) wanted to practice not only German, but also French (if you know what I'm sayin... nudge nudge winkity) so I got off the schoolbus and stopped trying to learn at a party, and left those international lovebirds to their own devices (never leave a German to their own devices! Are you mad?). The cops came, me & the Southern Belle danced like foolish witches, I was scolded for not hanging out (or returning phone calls, or even calling EVER) by Blondie... it was a successful evening - I think. I guess. Then Joey Joe and I came home (ohhhh... soooo not a good idea to drive like that) and we ate taquitos like they were goin' outta style. In short - I need to resolve ("resolute!" hath proclaimeth Joe) to not drink so goddamn much. Jebus.
Before I went out, though, I was quite perplexed by Paul whatshisface Mad About You. Who has seen Paul WHFMAY lately? And why is he getting increasingly nasty? The last time I saw him was in that McCool's movie - and that was disturbing beyond belief! He was in skivvies and bondage gear.... what the hell, mayne (I choose the spelling now because of the big i - thank you big i)! How does one go from Mad About You & Helen Hunt to bondage gear and cheating husband movies (no wisecracks here, please)? And this is no Dawson's Creek-James van der Beek spicin' up the image... this is just nasty! NASTY! Paul WHFMAY is too old to show everybody he's "not a nice guy heh heh" - now he just looks perverted and NASTY. Not to mention NASTY. Ugh. Enough. I don't even want to think about it.
Time to clean the stink off me from last night, darlings! You keep your little pert bums on edge, for this ain't the last train to Clarksville!
We will wait patiently for the next installment, we will! And don't forget to throw some whiskey over your left shoulder in good luck & drink down some salt before this dehydration leaves you sterile & unable to procreate! Now that's what I'm talkin about!