Elvis on Line 1

Last night, I decided that I wouldn't be drinking again until Tuesday. Then I popped 2 sleeping pills and chased them with a purple mug of Jameson. What!?! I know. Then the following ensued:

* I ran face-first into a wall, twice.

* I picked a fight with Scroggs.

* I danced like a sweaty beast to "Material Girl" and "Deeper and Deeper" (apparently, my substance abuse made me into a gay man)

* I overslept this morning

Please do as I say, not as I do - epitomizing Marilyn Monroe is sooo not kosher.

2005-08-01 | 11:00 a.m.

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