Well, I made it.

Back into the lion's den, the snake pit, the centrifuge, the vortex, the eye of the hurricane, the apex, the raccoon for the dogs, and what some might concede as the center of the universe. Back in NYC. Back in black. Back to the stress.
En route to NM, I saw two random kids hit it off on a plane & exchange numbers. On the way back, I saw a guy pull out a black cat from his carry-on. A real cat, guys. A REAL CAT. (Wait a minute - does anyone see the foreshadowing here? On the way there, love. On the way back, a big ominous symbol).

Here are some excerpts from my travels:

* (in Denver, on Thursday) So, I'm in mid-destination reachdom at this point, sitting across from a kid with a broken finger, suede loafers, and camel-colored corduroy pants outside gate B22 in the Denver airport. Hot damn, it occurred to me upon touchdown, looking at the vast oh, shall we say... nothingness, that I don't truly feel like I belong in New York and I sure don't feel like I belong in New Mexico. Truth of the matter is, I might just like New York one whole hot minute more than my romanticized, people-less existence in NM. I quite fancy living in a place that moves quicker than you can blink as opposed to a slowed down, warmed-over, tan fielded, sub-suburbia - OH MY GOD THERE IS A LITTLE SPARROW HOPPING AROUND INSIDE THE AIRPORT.

Uh.... where was I?

* CATHERINE ZETA-JONES IS AN IDIOT (written in Denver)

Case in point:

Harper's Bazaar, December 2004

pg. 202: "Wearing things like asymmetrical Japanese designs just makes me look like a communist."

pg. 202: "My mother says, 'A woman should never, ever wear anything she can't afford to lose,' which is why I didn't bring my diamonds to Mexico."

pg. 205: "Being married to Michael, you see me doing things most 35-year-olds probably don't - meeting presidents, the Oscars, the yachts, having dinner with Kofi Annan."

pg. 205: "Everyone wants her daughter to be be strong and have interesting work, but you lose your femininity when you have a ball-buster exterior instead of a smile that says, 'I'm smart and pretty cute, too.' Being able to enjoy being a woman - and showing that you do - is so powerful. My mother always told me to make the most of myself. It's very seductive to see a very proud woman."

* Note to all that ride airplanes: If the in-flight movie is "The Notebook," do not watch it. DO NOT WATCH IT. It is a trap - set to entice you into the deep, dark world of crying in public. Do not watch it. Put your headset away and fall asleep, my friend. That movie is a tearjerker.

2004-11-30 | 4:49 p.m.

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