1. Neighbors. Neighbors of the too-young-to-go-to-bars type. I live next to some fresh-out-of-the-nest fools and I'll be goddamned if the age range of 18 to 21 is THE WORST DEMOGRAPHIC. If you fall within these ages, I'm not apologizing. I'm pitying you.
My neighbors wear spandex and ride their bikey-bikes everywhere, don't go to school, smoke assloads of weed & come over to ask my roommate, G-rock, "when are you guys moving out 'cuz we want our friends to move in here." They yell at their girlfriends about being whores, bitches, and how they want to "sit on their face and take a shit" or "I shit on your Grandma!" and other things that I can hear through thick concrete walls. But last night... last night was something else. I think they & all their friends gathered into the street to race on foot or something. All I could hear was "1, 2, 3... GO!" and then laughter and car alarms AND OH HOLY SHIT I AM SO SICK OF LIVING NEXT TO THESE PEOPLE. And what do you do about people like this? I'm thinking that, since I live in a neighborhood with older people, I should distribute an anonymous flier that says "TIRED OF WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? Here's the address of the motherfuckers that are doing it" blah blah blah. Seriously, I was tripping over things, knocking things over, and actually slipped and fell in my own hair-product-mist on the floor this morning, I was so tired.
This is what's wrong with America today, numero uno. THE YOUTHMONGERS THAT ARE FUCKING IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. If I didn't have roommates that slept later than me, I would make obscene amounts of noise at 6 in the morning, yelling, "How does it feel? How does it feel, MOTHERFUCKERS! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE 4 HOURS OF SLEEP!?! THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU WAKE ME UP!" Jeee-sus.
2. Another thing wrong with America is Jennifer Lopez. Why should we even give a rat's ass if she's dating Marc Anthony - why should we even think about the fact that she's some publicity-crazed snatch... we shouldn't. Enough. (huh huh huh - get it? "Enough" was that movie she was in too - huh huh huh)
3. I'm not doing politics today, so you can rest your heels, although I would like to say that individual fundraisers trying to compensate for Bush's cuts to the UN is ridiculous. How dare that man cut off the US funding to the UN for health clinics around the world... UGH, NEVERMIND, NOT DOING POLITICS TODAY.
Well, that's it for me. I think I need another cup of coffee.