So, first of all - I didn't do any of those things I said I would yesterday/early this morning, or else right now I'd be drunk and in a heap of my filth and stinge at this point, Oprah blaring in the background on how a picture bought some poor woman a house.
Second - and the most pressing: I had the weirdest dream of all time last night, and all I can remember of it is Annette Funicello practicing for Beach Blanket Bingo in a medium blue bikini with white polkadots. She was trying to shake her thangs (by that, I mean the girls), and her boobs kept popping out of the top. As this was going on in the dream, my voice came over and said, "I can't believe they allow that on TV nowadays." Anyway - Annette got some silver dollars if you know what I'm sayin. Well endowed little lady in my dream.
Third - and most important: on Memorial Day, I met some girl with short blonde hair - er, rather - I didn't meet her, I just saw her. So yesterday I decided to practice my reports-to-an-investigator skills and tried to describe her in detail. I think I'm ready for my closeup.
Meatball sub time, y'all!