I have a bit of a problem with Toni Braxton. Her voice does not come from within her - have you noticed? She is, approximately - maybe 5'2", and she has this serpentine, deep-ass, barely-audible-except-for-elephants voice. And, although she does attempt to make it audible for the rest of us who are not elephants, you cannot make out a single goddamn word. Not a single word - it's just her juicy fatty earthworms mumblin something about "whoaaaa whooooo whoooaaaaaaa" and later you find out she's probably saying something about breathing again -who knows. Anyway, this was prompted by my visit to arista.com to watch videos - you know, keep up to date with these new-fangled kids and their new-fangled music. What the hell is fangled, anyway? I must look that up later.
Well I was just interrupted by the custodian brigade - since I have a shower in my office and all. A shower in my office - ha ha haaaaaaa! If you could only see the "shower" - it's like a huge sink (not unlike what a bathtub looks like, I suppose) in the shape of a triangle - it's in the corner. There is a faucet up about 3 1/2 ft. with a huge rubber tube attached to it. Well, the custodians (3 to be exact - and representing the 3 major races of the United States by the way) had to come in here and dump some water - which, if you are so inclined, please dump the water by swooshing it around, and get your hips into it - at this point, the older Hispanic man is saying, "Like the Macarena! Like the Macarena! Bueno! Bueno!" He is swooshing, they are all swooshing, and hip-swaying, and really having a good time, so I put my music on pause and turned around to watch this whole endeavor go down. Proud of their work, they all turn around and flash some weirdass smiles at me - and then they leave... mopping as they go. I say something stupid and insignificant like, "It sucks to work on Saturday! We should all go home! Heeheee!" They all grin and say, "We'll be seein you - have a good day!" I reply, "You too! Merry Christmas!" The whole point of this, fools - FOOLS! is that those 3 little musketeers were probably the most fun I'm gonna get out of this place today, and I've already gotten a breakfast burrito, so you can't hold that one against me!
Well, the bubonic plague seems to be leaving me - the coughing is getting better, the voice sounds less like Barry White on crack, and I can once again screech and yell like a banshee.
Ahhh... Screech. Screech - whatever happened to him? Is he going to be on that celebrity blind date show? Has anyone seen the stuff for this celebrity blind date show? Eddie Munster is gettin some ac-shun, if you know what I'm sayin.... He's gettin a little sumpin-sumpin. Nasty ol' Eddie Munster wants to hit it with some tan-o blondie - ewwwwwww and there's a shot of him, like, in his skivvies, waiting for the opportunity to blow his wad, and I ain't talkin about all the royalties from Munster show reruns. Or maybe I am! Weeee! I've disgusted myself!
I went to the Texas State Dept of Corrections page yesterday to see what the death row fools are eating for their last supper, and I was appalled and .... appalled. And a lot of those mothers eat a grabass good time of fried chicken, and ice cream, and some just have, like - 1 bag of assorted jolly ranchers, or 12 cans of Sprite - and .... argh. Disturbing, disturbing. I wish I hadn't brought it up, but there you go... there you go. Pigsuiting this business to the N-th degree - like that old Norwest bank. Ahhh. Poor Norwest. That was my bank after Bank of America, and then it turned into Wells Fargo. When it went WF, I felt superior, I did. I felt like old oil money, rollin through Texas in a stagecoach and bloomers - like Ross Perot had blessed me with a mad amount of cash. Whatever happened to Perot, anyway?
Enough, ca suffit - once one ponders over Ross Perot's newfound lifestyle, one might as well watch the Anna Nicole show.... which is more amusing than Perot, I'll give you that.