Peter Pan
Something weird happened. One day, I just started finishing the jars of peanut butter. Does anyone else remember that all-too-strange feeling of
finishing a jar of peanut butter? When the hell did that happen? Was that the first sign of growing up? And finishing off the coffee. Milk - milk is an easy thing to use up. We all use up milk every day of the year - have to run to the store for milk, or bread. Bread too is an easy use. But peanut butter? I felt that peanut butter was much like salsa - you don't eat it all, you have to throw it away after a while when you've broken down and bought "fresh." Cereal is even a bit of a push - I don't remember ever finishing an entire box of cereal, yet now it happens regularly. Food consumption is happening
regularly, I am happening
regularly, my life is enmassed in a 25 year old ball of yarn, or rubber bands. Something worked very hard on, but no one quite knows
why.
I don't even remember breaking down and buying coffee for the first time - I used to only frequent Starbucks, even for a raging hangover, even on test days or all-nighters. There wasn't any coffee-addict to say, "Put the coffee on" and slug some down with me, no sir. I have yet to meet a good friend that rivals my obsession with coffee. Or liquor. (That's not true. We shall stick with coffee)
Tomato-based products do get thrown out quite quickly. Unless you're cooking for an entire family, that jar of pasta sauce in the fridge will eventually just get thrown out, especially when the edges of the jar are coated in flaky, dried redness. Then the jar practically hurls itself towards the trashcan.
Gum, Dr. Pepper, Nerds, Doritos - these are all honorable goods to devour and leave no remnants of. But peanut butter? Am I soon going to be stock-piling Metamucil? Keeping bottles of wine in case company drops by (oh hell, company ain't "dropping by" in Queens)? Taking my dry cleaning, shining my shoes? I already floss. Shit, did you hear that --
I already floss! What is this world
coming to?
2005-03-31 | 7:13 a.m.
